She used to draw when she had time. Now she draws with a needle and thread, little knotted rosebuds, tulips made of silk thread. Someday she would like to go to the ballet. Someday she would like to see a play. She borrows opera records from the public library and sings withvelvety lungs powerful as morning glories.
唉。她气恼地说着，又搅起麦片来。我那时是个聪明人。
I could've been somebody, you know? My mother says and sighs. She has lived in this city her whole life. She canspeak two languages. She can sing an opera. She knows how to fix a T. V. But she doesn't know which subway train to take to get downtown. I hold her hand very tight while we wait for the right train to arrive.
羞耻感是不好的，你知道。它会让你心情不好。你想知道我怎么辍学的吗？因为我没有好衣服。没有衣服，可我有脑子啊。
今天煮燕麦片时，她是蝴蝶夫人，直到她叹了口气，用木勺指着我。我本来可以出人头地的。你知道么？埃斯佩朗莎。你去上学，用功学习。蝴蝶夫人是个傻瓜。她搅了搅燕麦。看看我的姐妹们。她说的是跑了丈夫的伊佐拉和死了丈夫的约兰达。全得靠自己撑着。她边说边摇头。
我本来可以出人头地的，你知道么？妈妈说着叹了口气。她一辈子都住在这个城市里。她会说两种语言。她会唱歌剧。她知道怎么修理电视机。可她不知道坐哪条地铁线去市中心。在等对的那趟车来的时候，我紧紧攥着她的手。
Yup, she says disgusted, stirring again. I was a smart cookie then.
Shame is a bad thing, you know. It keeps you down. You want to know why I quit school? Because I didn't have nice clothes. No clothes, but I had brains.
她过去有时间就常画画。现在她用针和线画画，编织的玫瑰花苞、丝绣的郁金香。有一天她想去看芭蕾舞。又有一天她想去看戏。她从公共图书馆里借来了歌剧唱片，用醇厚的嗓音唱起来，歌声像朝阳一样蓬勃。
Then out of nowhere：
然后又没头没尾地说上了：
Today while cooking oatmeal she is Madame Butterfly until she sighs and points the wooden spoon at me. I could've been somebody, you know? Esperanza, you go to school. Study hard. That Madame Butterfly was a fool. She stirs the oatmeal. Look atmy comadres. She means Izaura whose husband left and Yolanda whose husband is dead. Got to take care all your own, she says shaking her head.
