"And then?"
"You know so much, where is she?"
"Then nothing," he shrugged. "By and by she went like she come, rode away on ahorse."
"Shes probably never set foot in Africa," I said, believing it; yet I could see herthere, it was somewhere she would have gone. And the carved head: I looked at thephotographs again.
"Its just that I didnt know youd been in love with her. Not like that."
"Dead. Or in a crazy house. Or married. I think shes married and quieted downand maybe right in this very city."
Joe Bell blinked. "With the two men, I guess. Now the Jap, he asked about her upand down the country. But nobody else had ever seen her." Then it was as if hecould feel my own sense of letdown transmitting itself to him, and he wanted no partof it. "One thing you got to admit, its the only definite news in I dont know howmany" -- he counted on his fingers: there werent enough -- "years. All I hope, Ihope shes rich. She must be rich. You got to be rich to go mucking around inAfrica."
He considered a moment. "No," he said, and shook his head. "Ill tell you why. Ifshe was in this city Id have seen her. You take a man that likes to walk, a man likeme, a mans been walking in the streets going on ten or twelve years, and all thoseyears hes got his eye out for one person, and nobodys ever her, dont it stand toreason shes not there? I see pieces of her all the time, a flat little bottom, anyskinny girl that walks fast and straight -- " He paused, as though too aware of howintently I was looking at him. "You think Im round the bend?"
"I dont credit that part," Joe Bell said squeamishly. "I know she had her ways,but I dont think shed be up to anything as much as that."
"Hold on," he said, gripping my wrist. "Sure I loved her. But it wasnt that Iwanted to touch her." And he added, without smiling: "Not that I dont think aboutthat side of things. Even at my age, and Ill be sixty-seven January ten. Its apeculiar fact -- but, the older I grow, that side of things seems to be on my mindmore and more. I dont remember thinking about it so much even when I was ayoungster and its every other minute. Maybe the older you grow and the less easy itis to put thought into action, maybe thats why it gets all locked up in your head andbecomes a burden. Whenever I read in the paper about an old man disgracinghimself, I know its because of this burden. But" -- he poured himself a jigger ofwhiskey and swallowed it neat -- "Ill never disgrace myself. And I swear, it nevercrossed my mind about Holly. You can love somebody without it being like that. Youkeep them a stranger, a stranger whos a friend."
"Alone, or with the two men?"
A young woman and two men. The men, both red-eyed with fever, were forced forseveral weeks to stay shut and shivering in an isolated hut, while the young woman,having presently taken a fancy to the wood-carver, shared the woodcarvers mat.
I was sorry Id said it; it disconcerted him. He scooped up the photographs andput them back in their envelope. I looked at my watch. I hadnt any place to go, butI thought it was better to leave.
