`But what happens when you come to the beginning again? Alice ventured to ask.
`Then you shouldnt talk, said the Hatter.
`Once upon a time there were three little sisters, the Dormouse began in a great hurry; `and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well--
`Nobody asked YOUR opinion, said Alice.
"Up above the world you fly,
`You can draw water out of a water-well, said the Hatter; `so I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh, stupid?
`They were learning to draw, the Dormouse went on, yawning and rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; `and they drew all manner of things--everything that begins with an M--
`Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it? said the March Hare.
`They couldnt have done that, you know, Alice gently remarked; `theyd have been ill.
`I want a clean cup, interrupted the Hatter: `lets all move one place on.
Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the little glass table. `Now, Ill manage better this time, she said to herself, and began by taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that led into the garden. Then she went to work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in her pocket) till she was about a foot high: then she walked down the little passage: and THEN--she found herself at last in the
`Suppose we change the subject, the March Hare interrupted, yawning. `Im getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story.
`I do, Alice hastily replied; `at least--at least I mean what I say--thats the same thing, you know.
`What did they live on? said Alice, who always took a great interest in questions of eating and drinking.
`No, I give it up, Alice replied: `whats the answer?
Alice was silent.
`No, please go on! Alice said very humbly; `I wont interrupt again. I dare say there may be ONE.
Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. `I dont see any wine, she remarked.
The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he SAID was, `Why is a raven like a writing-desk?
`How dreadfully savage! exclaimed Alice.
`I didnt know it was YOUR table, said Alice; `its laid for a great many more than three.
`Well, Id hardly finished the first verse, said the Hatter, `when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, "Hes murdering the time! Off with his head!"
Twinkle, twinkle--"
beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool fountains.
The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at one corner of it: `No room! No room! they cried out when they saw Alice coming. `Theres PLENTY of room! said Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table.
`If you knew Time as well as I do, said the Hatter, `you wouldnt talk about wasting IT. Its HIM.
`Of course not, Alice replied very readily: `but thats because it stays the same year for such a long time together.
Alice considered a little, and then said `The fourth.
`Then you should say what you mean, the March Hare went on.
`Take some more tea, the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly.
A Mad Tea-Party
`One, indeed! said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he consented to go on. `And so these three little sisters--they were learning to draw, you know--
The Hatter shook his head mournfully. `Not I! he replied. `We quarrelled last March--just before HE went mad, you know-- (pointing with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) `--it was at the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing
`Exactly so, said Alice.
`Nor I, said the March Hare.
Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. `What a funny watch! she remarked. `It tells the day of the month, and doesnt tell what oclock it is!
Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very cautiously: `But I dont understand. Where did they draw the treacle from?
Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep `Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle-- and went on so long that they had to pinch it to make it stop.
`And be quick about it, added the Hatter, `or youll be asleep again before its done.
Alice sighed wearily. `I think you might do something better with the time, she said, `than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.
The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without opening its eyes, `Of course, of course; just what I was going to remark myself.
`Ive had nothing yet, Alice replied in an offended tone, `so I cant take more.
`Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well, the Hatter grumbled: `you shouldnt have put it in with the bread-knife.
`Perhaps not, Alice cautiously replied: `but I know I have to beat time when I learn music.
There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and talking over its head. `Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse, thought Alice; `only, as its asleep, I suppose it doesnt mind.
`Of course you dont! the Hatter said, tossing his head contemptuously. `I dare say you never even spoke to Time!
`Tell us a story! said the March Hare.
`That would be grand, certainly, said Alice thoughtfully: `but then--I shouldnt be hungry for it, you know.
`They lived on treacle, said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute or two.
`Treacle, said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time.
`What did they draw? said Alice, quite forgetting her promise.
`Which is just the case with MINE, said the Hatter.
How I wonder what youre at!"
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
`Have you guessed the riddle yet? the Hatter said, turning to Alice again.
`Im afraid I dont know one, said Alice, rather alarmed at the proposal.
`Not the same thing a bit! said the Hatter. `You might just as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat what I see"!
`There isnt any, said the March Hare.
(`I only wish it was, the March Hare said to itself in a whisper.)
`Come, we shall have some fun now! thought Alice. `Im glad theyve begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that, she added aloud.
`I dont know what you mean, said Alice.
`You might just as well say, added the March Hare, `that "I like what I get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!
He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March Hare moved into the Dormouses place, and Alice rather unwillingly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got any advantage from the change: and Alice was a good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk-jug into his plate.
`Have some wine, the March Hare said in an encouraging tone.
`Ah! that accounts for it, said the Hatter. `He wont stand beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, hed do almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine oclock in the morning, just time to begin lessons: youd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!
`At any rate Ill never go THERE again! said Alice as she picked her way through the wood. `Its the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all my life!
Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatters remark seemed to have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. `I dont quite understand you, she said, as politely as she could.
`Why not? said the March Hare.
`You might just as well say, added the Dormouse, who seemed to be talking in his sleep, `that "I breathe when I sleep" is the same thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!
`Really, now you ask me, said Alice, very much confused, `I dont think--
`Is that the way YOU manage? Alice asked.
`Then you keep moving round, I suppose? said Alice.
`The Dormouse is asleep again, said the Hatter, and he poured a little hot tea upon its nose.
The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think of nothing better to say than his first remark, `It was the BEST butter, you know.
`Not at first, perhaps, said the Hatter: `but you could keep it to half-past one as long as you liked.
`It goes on, you know, the Hatter continued, `in this way:--
The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going off into a doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again with a little shriek, and went on: `--that begins with an M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness-- you know you say things are "much of a muchness"--did you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?
This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse go on for some time without interrupting it.
The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then said, `It was a treacle-well.
`And ever since that, the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, `he wont do a thing I ask! Its always six oclock now.
`I havent the slightest idea, said the Hatter.
`Exactly so, said the Hatter: `as the things get used up.
`Of course they were, said the Dormouse; `--well in.
`So they were, said the Dormouse; `VERY ill.
`Yes, please do! pleaded Alice.
This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got up in great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they were trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.
Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went on: `But why did they live at the bottom of a well?
You know the song, perhaps?
`It wasnt very civil of you to sit down without being invited, said the March Hare.
`It IS the same thing with you, said the Hatter, and here the conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing-desks, which wasnt much.
`But they were IN the well, Alice said to the Dormouse, not choosing to notice this last remark.
Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped herself to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and repeated her question. `Why did they live at the bottom of a well?
`You should learn not to make personal remarks, Alice said with some severity; `its very rude.
Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door leading right into it. `Thats very curious! she thought. `But everythings curious today. I think I may as well go in at once. And in she went.
A bright idea came into Alices head. `Is that the reason so many tea-things are put out here? she asked.
`Then it wasnt very civil of you to offer it, said Alice angrily.
`Then the Dormouse shall! they both cried. `Wake up, Dormouse! And they pinched it on both sides at once.
The Hatter was the first to break the silence. `What day of the month is it? he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then, and holding it to his ear.
`Why should it? muttered the Hatter. `Does YOUR watch tell you what year it is?
`Whos making personal remarks now? the Hatter asked triumphantly.
`Yes, thats it, said the Hatter with a sigh: `its always tea-time, and weve no time to wash the things between whiles.
The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. `I wasnt asleep, he said in a hoarse, feeble voice: `I heard every word you fellows were saying.
`Theres no such thing! Alice was beginning very angrily, but the Hatter and the March Hare went `Sh! sh! and the Dormouse sulkily remarked, `If you cant be civil, youd better finish the story for yourself.
`Why with an M? said Alice.
`You mean you cant take LESS, said the Hatter: `its very easy to take MORE than nothing.
`Ive heard something like it, said Alice.
`It was the BEST butter, the March Hare meekly replied.
`Your hair wants cutting, said the Hatter. He had been looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was his first speech.
`Two days wrong! sighed the Hatter. `I told you butter wouldnt suit the works! he added looking angrily at the March Hare.
"Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
