Frankly the piano teacher said, this isnt my real line of work. Really he said, Im a jockey.
Well Slim I said, we need a jockey for our race horse, Dan, who will fall out of trim without workouts. And Buster, you can plant the maple trees which I have just ordered for the house.
Buster was very pleased with his sterling silver belt buckle and said that he thought Slim would be pleased too when he saw the Kaywoodie pipe which had been bought for him. You were right after all Alison whispered to me in the back seat of the Rolls.
AN INTERMINABLE SILENCE. THEN AMELIA HOLDING THE FLUTE OPENED THE DOOR
Slim he said, and my friend here is Buster.
A TERRIBLE SILENCE
I think they ought to wear uniforms Alison said firmly.
Maples I said.
There are so many things I could do with it for instance fixing up last years fall dresses and lots of other things.
A STUNNED PAUSE
THERE WAS A LONG PAUSE
No Amelia I said truthfully, I dont.
Then Amelia said that this indication of her tiny status in all our lives left her with nothing to say.
A front-runner too I said.
WE CONSIDERED THE PROBLEM IN SILENCE
Alison decided that she would make a pie for supper, a chocolate pie perhaps, and that we would have Buster and Slim and George and Sam the pilots too if they were in town and not flying. She began looking in her recipe book while I read the Necchi News in my favorite armchair.
To cheer her up I said I would visit her again in the near future. This pleased her and the exchange ended on a note of warmth. I knew however that Alison would ask questions and I returned to the livingroom with some anxiety.
THERE WAS A LONG INTERVAL
THERE WAS AN UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE
The trailer was attached by means of a trailer hitch, which I bought when it became clear that the trailer could not be hitched up without one, to the back of our new Rolls. The horses name was Dan and I bought a horse blanket, which he was already wearing but which did not come with him, to keep him warm.
As I had thought it might be, it was Amelia. I told her about Dans illness. She was very concerned and asked if I thought it would be appropriate if she went to the hospital.
Then Slim came in from the garage with a worried look. Dan he said is not well.
A SILENCE
RETURNING TO THE LIVINGROOM, ALISON HESITATED
But now the pilots George and Sam rushed in with good news indeed. They had gotten word of Dans illness over the radio they said, and filled with concern had flown straight to the hospital, where they learned that Dans stomach had been pumped and all was well. Dan was resting easily George and Sam said, and could come home in about a week.
Here are some little matters which you must attend to Alison said, handing me a box of bills. I went through them carefully, noting the amounts and thinking about money.
THERE WAS AN INTERMISSION BETWEEN RACES SO WE WENT AROUND TO THE STABLES AND BOUGHT A HORSE TRAILER
THERE WAS A PAUSE BROKEN ONLY BY THE HUMMING OF THE NECCHI
I have a new Rolls I told her, and took her outside where she admired the car at great length. Then I gave hera check for $5500 on the Commercial National for which she thanked me. Back in the apartment she gracefully removed her clothes and put the check in a book in the bookcase. She looked very pretty without her clothes, as pretty as ever, and we had a pleasant time for an hour or more. When I left the apartment Amelia said Peter, I think youre a very pleasant person which made me feel very good and on the way home I bought a new gray Dacron suit.
Where have you been? Alison said, Ive been waiting lunch for hours. I bought a new suit I said, how do you like it? Very nice Alison said, but hurry Ive got to go shopping after lunch. Shopping! I said, Ill go with you!
Beats me he said with a mystified look.
Not only pianos Alison said giving me an exciting look.
Instead of uniforms I bought Slim a Kaywoodie pipe and some pipe tobacco, and bought Buster a large sterling silver cowboy belt buckle and a belt to go with it.
As soon as we go inside I said, I will call the tree service and buy some trees.
SHORT SILENCE
A SILENCE FREIGHTED WITH SEXUAL SIGNIFICANCE ENSUED. THEN WE WENT TO BED FIRST HOWEVER ORDERING A PIANO TEACHER AND A PIANO TUNER FOR THE EARLY MORNING
Then she said: Its some girl, for you.
Wonderful! Alison said sitting at the controls of the Necchi and making buttonholes in a copy of the New York Times Sunday Magazine. Her eyes glistened. I had also bought a two-year subscription to Necchi News because I could not be sure that her interest would not be held for that long at least.
Dan was lying on his side in the garage, groaning now and then. His face was a rich gray color and it was clear that if he did not have immediate attention, the worst might be expected.
In fact Alison said, the treelessness of this house almost makes me yearn for our old apartment building.
What seems to be the difficulty? I asked.
When I knocked at the door of Amelias apartment she refused to open it. Instead she began practicing scales on her flute. I knocked again and called out: Amelia!
How about you? I said to this companion.
Oh Peter! Alison exclaimed in a pleased way, our ordeal is over. She kissed me with abandon and George and Sam shook hands with each other and with Andrew and Buster and Slim, who had just come in from the hospital. To celebrate we decided that we would all fly to London and Rome on a Viscount jet which I bought for an undisclosed sum and which Sam declared he knew how to fly very well.
Yep the first man said, couldnt make heads or tails out of it.
SILENTLY WE REGARDED THE TWO MEN WHO SAT ON THE SOFA
Then I bought her a purple Rolls which we decided to park on the street because our apartment building had no garage. Alison said she absolutely loved the Rolls! and gave me an enthusiastic kiss. I paid for the car with a check drawn on the First City Bank.
ABSOLUTE SILENCE FOR ONE MINUTE
I have a proposition to make I announced. What is your name? I asked, nodding in the direction of the jockey.
Have you noticed I asked, that there are no trees?
Oh Peter what a fine idea Alison said brightly. But who are these people in our livingroom?
A sewing-machine Alison said, with buttonhole-making attachments.
Oh Im a bona fide piano tuner all right the tuner said. Its just that Im not very good at it. Never was and never will be.
Theres no place to keep him in our apartment building! Alison said triumphantly, pointing at Dan. She was of course absolutely right and I hastily bought a large three-story house in Milwaukees best suburb. To make the house more comfortable I bought a concert grand piano.
What in the name of God is this! I cried, holding up a bill for $1600 from the hardware store.
Peter for Gods sake do something for this poor horse! Alison cried.
I knocked again but Amelia continued to play. So I sat down on the steps and began to read the newspaper which was lying onthe floor, knocking at intervals and at the same time wondering about the psychology of Amelia.
WE LOOKED AT ONE ANOTHER IN WORDLESS FEAR
THE SOUND OF THE FLUTE FILLED THE SILENT HALLWAY
SILENTLY I WONDERED WHAT TO DO
Do you know what I want more than anything else? Alison asked.
A FROSTY SILENCE
So we went down to the drugstore where Alison had eggs sunny side up and I had buckwheat cakes with sausage. When we got back to the house I noticed that there were no trees surrounding it, which depressed me.
PAUSING ONLY TO WHIP A FRESH CHECKBOOK FROM THE DESK DRAWER, I BOUGHT A LARGE HOSPITAL NEARBY FOR $1.5 MILLION
No.
THERE WAS AN INTERVAL DURING WHICH I SENT A CHECK FOR $500,000 TO THE MUSEUM OF MODERN ART
So we ate a hasty lunch of vichyssoise and ice cream and had Buster drive us in the Rolls to the Federated Department Store where we bought a great many things for the new house and a new horse blanket for Dan.
DEAD SILENCE
I settled on a salary of $12,000 a year for Slim and a slightly smaller one for Buster. This accomplished I drove the Rolls over to Courtlandt Street to show it to my mistress, Amelia.
A MOMENT OF INDECISION FOLLOWED BY A PAINFUL SILENCE
The telephone rang and Alison answered.
Montgomery Ward I noticed in the newspaper was at 40?. Was Amelia being adamant I considered, because of Alison?
Peter Alison said, what do you want to do now?
Garden hose Alison said calmly.
Certainly I said.
The next day Mr. Washington from the Central National called to report an overdraft of several hundred thousand dollars for which I apologized. Who was that on the telephone? Alison asked. Mr. Washington from the bank I replied. Oh Alison said, what do you want for breakfast? What have you got? I asked. Nothing Alison said, well have to go out for breakfast.
Do you mean it? she said.
THERE WAS A SHAMEFACED SILENCE
It was clear that I would have to remove some money from the State Bank & Trust and place it in the Municipal National and I did so. The pilot of the airplane which I had bought to fly us to Aqueduct, with his friend the pilot of the larger plane I had bought to fly us back, appeared at the door and asked to be paid. The pilots names were George and Sam. I paid them and also bought from Sam his flight jacket, which was khaki-colored and pleasant-looking. They smiled and saluted as they left.
We sent Dan over in his trailer with strict instructions that he be given the best of everything. Slim and Buster accompanied him and when Andrew arrived with the doctor I hurried them off to the hospital too. Concern for Dan was uppermost in my mind at that moment.
You dont think it would be appropriate Amelia said.
THERE WAS A BRIEF PAUSE
THERE WAS AN INTERVAL
WHEN I GAVE THE SALESMAN A CHECK ON THE MEDICAL NATIONAL HE PAUSED, FROWNED, AND SAID: "THIS IS A NEW BANK ISNT IT?"
And you? I asked, turning to the other man.
He is beautiful Alison said.
ON THE DOORSTEP OF THE NEW HOUSE THE PIANO MOVERS PAUSED FOR A GLASS OF COLD WATER
THERE WAS A TREMENDOUS PAUSE DURING WHICH I BOUGHT HER A NECCHI SEWING-MACHINE
A PROLONGED SILENCE
Oh I dont know I said.
THERE WAS A JOYFUL SILENCE AS BUSTER AND SLIM TRIED TO DIGEST THE GOOD NEWS
THERE WAS AN INTERVAL OF SEVERAL DAYS. THEN ALISON AND I DROVE THE CAR WITH THE TRAILER UP THE RAMP INTO THE PLANE AND WE FLEW BACK TO MILWAUKEE
AN HIATUS FILLED WITH DOUBT AND SUSPICION
Can you afford it? she asked doubtfully.
THE CONVERSATION LAPSED
There at least one could look at the large plants in the lobby.
Amelia I said at length (through the door), I want to give you a nice present of around $5500. Would you like that?
Do you think we ought to buy uniforms for Buster and Slim? Alison asked and I replied that I thought not, they didnt seem the sort who would enjoy wearing uniforms.
Well I said looking around the new house, wed better call a piano teacher because I understand that without use pianos tend to fall out of tune.
Yes Alison said, Ive noticed.
No I said, I think not.
Well we cant simply sit around the apartment Alison said so we went to the races at Aqueduct where I bought a race horse that was running well out in front of the others. What a handsome race horse! Alison said delightedly. I paid for the horse with a check on the Capital National Bank.
Uniforms with something on the pocket Alison said. A crest or something.
What? I said.
Realizing that the men were the piano teacher and the piano tuner we had requested, I said: Well did you try the piano?
Everyone was thrown into a panic by the thought of Dans illness and I bought some Kaopectate which Slim however did not believe would be appropriate. The Kaopectate was $0.98 and I paid for it with a check on the Principal National. The delivery boy from the drugstore, whose name was Andrew, suggested that Dan needed a doctor. This seemed sensible so I tipped Andrew with a check on the Manufacturers Trust and asked him to fetch the very best doctor he could find on such short notice.
After stopping for lunch at Howard Johnsons where we fed Dan some fried clams which he seemed to like very much Alison said: Do you know what weve completely forgotten? I knew that there was something but although I thought hard I could not imagine what it was.
