I didnt write my diary when Josephine and I arrived in Sweden. I was afraid that I wouldnt be happy here. I was wrong.
There was a long pause. Her eyes were shut and she seemed to be asleep. The room was silent, except for the clock. Then she spoke again:
She laughed quietly. The memory seemed to cheer her. "Oscar brought me his children yesterday: little Charles and baby Oscar. Id have liked to have children myself, madame, but no prince offered to marry me. My parents wouldnt let me marry anyone else."
Who dared to say that? It was old Princess Sofia, the last of the Vasas in Sweden.
The thunder of Stockholms guns filled the air and ended our conversation. A small boat with a royal flag came out of the harbour. And a few minutes later Oscar climbed on to our ship.
I bowed deeply and kissed her hand. A few hours later she died.
When the music stopped, a little girl came forward. She gave me some flowers and she sang me a song of welcome. Then there was a sudden silence. My heart was trembling with fear. But my voice was loud and calm as I began to speak:
A week later we drove through the streets again, when Oscar and Josephine were married. The city was gay with flags, and the crowds cheered madly everywhere. "Jean won their respect," I told myself, "but Oscar and Josephine have won their love."
"The crown of the Queens of Sweden. You werent crowned when His Majesty was. Its very old and rather heavy. But youre the mother of the royal family of Bernadotte. Why wont you be crowned?"
"Because you wanted Oscar to marry a princess, and Im not one. My father is only a duke."
Again her eyes shut, and she seemed to sleep. Again all was silent except for the clock. Then she spoke her last words.
"Why not?" I replied. "Arent we ordinary people, we Bernadottes?"
All that, as Ive said, was six years ago. Since then Ive become a grandmother. Ive also been trying hard to be a good Queen. A real Queen is too busy to write a diary. But today someone told me that Im not yet a real Queen!
We arrived six years ago. A Swedish warship brought us from Liibeck. As we sailed up the coast, we passed dozens of little islands. Their trees were all dressed in fresh spring colours. I remember Josephine crying: "How lovely our country is!" She was lucky, of course. She didnt have to drive through the snow from Halsingborg. And no cruel Queen was waiting for her in Stockholm.
Jean couldnt come with him, of course. He had to wait for the proper ceremonies. When I landed, he was standing there in a purple cloak, with Brahe and Rosen beside him. The crowds cheered, the bands played, and the thunder of guns shook the earth.
I had written the words myself. Count Loeenhjelm had put them into Swedish. Then he had helped me to learn them. At last I reached the end: "Lange leve Sverige!" (Swedish: Long live Sweden!)
How could I refuse? I took her hand. "Yes. I promise," I said.
"Ja har varit lange borte---" (Swedish: I have been long out there)
"Yes," she continued, "you were wise when you left our court long ago. Queen Hedvig was ashamed of you because you were a silk merchants daughter. She drove you away, and the court had no Crown Princess. Sweden never forgave her for that."
"Josephine," I said, "true love is the only good reason for marriage. Teach thatto your children."
She has been living in her own little palace, and I havent seen her often. Oscar visits her and he calls her aunt Sofia. "She was kind to me when I was a boy," he says.
Today he told me when she was dying. "She wants to see you, Mama. Please go as soon as you can."
She stared at me in surprise. "But they might want to marry an ordinary person who didnt even belong to a noble family?"
Swedish! The queen was speaking Swedish!
"I wish I hadnt been born in the Vasa family. If I had been a Bernadotte, I could have married an ordinary person. Then Id have had some fun in my life."
"Object? Why would we object?" I asked.
"No one has suggested it since I came to Sweden," I said. "And I dont like solemn ceremonies."
"Im suggesting it now," she replied, and she held out her thin old hand. "The last Vasa princess is asking the first Bernadotte to take care of the crown. Tomorrow I may not be able to ask you again. Will you promise?"
I remembered a coronation, long ago, I carried an empresss handkerchief on a cushion. Did this old princess guess my thoughts? She looked at me with a curious smile.
"My lay-in-waiting has been reading me the Emperor Napoleons life story," she said. "You arent beautiful, but two of the worlds greatest men have loved you. I wonder why."
"Im so happy, Mama," she whispered to me as the city came into sight. "I loved Oscar as soon as I saw him. He loves me too. But I was sure that you and His Majesty would object."
She smiled at me as I sat down beside her bed. Then she sent her lay-in-waiting out of the room. We talked about Jean and Oscar. Suddenly she said: "Youre a good Queen, madame!"
I looked at her in surprise.
When drove through the streets in an open carriage. Josephine sat beside me; Jean and Oscar sat opposite. I smiled at the crowds till my face ached. Even then I continued to smile.
"Which crown?" I asked. I thought that her mind must be wandering.
"I wanted to talk to you about the crown, madame."
