"I do."
"And now," Josephine finished the sentence for him. "you must find her again, and you must ask her to marry you."
"I---Im afraid I dont remember, Monsieur Bonaparte."
I was getting ready for diner when Julie came into my room. "You must wear your best dress this evening, Desiree," she said. "We have a very important guest."
The rest of the family were looking at me. They were wondering why I didnt walk in. Then the tall man noticed their look. He turned round; and his eyes grew wide with surprise. My heart jumped. I couldnt breathe.
Julie corrected him. "Even when it rains, " she said. "thats the mystery of Paris."
At last Joseph spoke. "I dont quite understand, General Bernadotte. Do you really want to marry Desiree?"
I was afraid to look at his face when he politely kissed my hand. And I didnt trust my voice, so I didnt say anything. Then I heard Joseph say:
A sudden silence filled the room. Or could everyone hear the sound of my heart? I stared at the white table cloth. I didnt dare to look up.
"But I must cry, Julie. I must. Im so happy that I have to cry."
Was that my voice? Everyone was staring at me. I jumped up and ran to the door. A moment later I was sitting on my bed. And I was crying like a child.
He returned to Julie and asked: "How long has your sister been living in Paris? Your family home is in Marseilles, isnt it?"
Julie camein and put her arms around me. "You neednt marry him, Desiree. Dont cry. Please dont cry."
He still didnt speak. I could see that he was trying to remember something. What had madame Tallien told him about Napoleons first love? A rich merchants daughter in Marseilles? Napoleon had promised to marry her, and he had broken his promise. Yes. That was it.
"Yes, madame, I found her. But then I lost her. And now ---" His eyes were begging me to help him. What could I say?
"Shall we sit down?" she repeated. She went up to him and touched his arm. His thoughts were are away. Then he suddenly noticed her, and we took our seats at the dinner table.
"Except when it rains," Bernadotte added. He was looking straight at my face.
"Josephine is coming too," she replied. "Shes at Malmaison(A villa of Napoleon), her new house in the country. But shes coming into Paris especially for this dinner party. So you neednt listen to the men. You can talk to her and me."
At the same time Joseph took my arm and introduced me: "General Bernadotte, this is my wifes little sister, mademoiselle Desiree Clary."
She gave him a strange little smile and said: "General Bernadotte, you arent married. Didnt you miss the help of a wife when you were our ambassador in Vienna?"
"Paris is a very beautiful city," I said. I was feeling uncomfortable.
"But youre only just met her," said Julie. "She doesnt know you."
"Youre quite right, madame," he agreed. "Strange things happen in Paris, even when it rains."
Before he went home, he and I went into the garden. The fresh smell of spring filled the evening air, and the sky was full of stars. I cant put loves mystery into words.
"We were interrupted, general. What were you going to tell me?"
Before Josephine could answer, Julie said: "Havent you found the right girl yet, general?"
Then Josephine spoke. She had watched Bernadotte and me for several minutes. Shes a clever woman. She can feel the secret forces that are drawing a man and a woman together. And this isnt my first visit to Paris; she knows that very well.
When we went down, they had left the dinner table. They had taken the fruit and the wine to the sitting room. I sat on the sofa with Jean (I cant say Jean-Baptiste ---- its too long) and he filled my glass. Then he raised his own, and we drank together. And at last I dared to look into his eyes.
Bernadotte put down his knife and fork. "Indeed I did, my dear Josephine! I would like to be married. But what can I do?"
Joseph didnt understand this at all. He wanted to talk about Napoleons war, not about the weather. Several times he tried to change the conversation; but the general didnt seem to hear him.
Julie said: "Come in, Desiree. Were waiting for you."
But General Bernadotte didnt move.
Her advice seemed to give him courage. "Youre right, " he said. "I must ask her to marry me."
Joseph often has an important guest: an ambassador or a general or a member of parliament. They talk about wars or government business. Im tired of it all. I told Julie so. "I dont really want to meet Josephs guest," I said.
"Monsieur Bonaparte, I should like to marry your wifes sister, Medemoiselle Desiree Clary. Have I your permission?"
Again there was silence.
The question surprised Julie. "My sister has only been here for a few months. Its her first visit to Paris. You like it, dont you, Desiree?"
Julie went down and welcomed her guests. I followed later. I could hear Josephines high voice through the door. I opened it--- and then I just stood there. I couldnt go in.
A man was standing near the door. A very tall man in a dark blue cloak. I could only see his back, but I recognized that back at once. I wanted to run away. I couldnt. My legs wouldnt move.
Julie said: "Shall we sit down. General?"
He stood up. He pushed his chair back. And he turned to Joseph, and said:
I looked up. "I should very much like to marry you. General Bernadotte!"
