but I do know where I am I am on West Eleventh Street shot with lust I speak to Alice on the street she is carrying a shopping bag I attempt to see what is in the shopping bag but she conceals it we turn to savor rising over the Womens House of Detention a particularly choice bit of "sisters" sta?tistics on the longevity of life angelism straight as a loons leg conceals her face behind pneumatiques hurled unopened scream the place down tuck mathematical models six hours in the confessional psychological comparisons scream the place down Mars yellow plights make micefeet of old cowboy airs cornflakes people pointing to the sea overboots nasal contact 7 cm. prune the audience dense car correctly identify chemical junk blooms of iron wonderful loftiness sentient populations
SECTION FORTY-THREE then I began chewing upon Alices long and heavy breasts first one then the other the nipples brightened freshened then I turned her on her stomach and rubbed her back first slow then fast first the shoulders then the but?tocks
rap Alice on the rump standing in the rented bed?room I have a roller and a bucket of white paint requires a second coat perhaps a third who knows a fourth and fifth I sit on the floor next to the paint bucket regarding the yellow brick wall visible there a subway token on the floor I pick it up drop it into the paint bucket slow circles on the surface of the white paint
possible attitudes found in books 1) I dont know whats happening to me 2) what does it mean? 3) seized with the deepest sadness, I know not why 4) I am lost, my head whirls, I know not where I am 5) I lose myself 6) I ask you, what have I come to? 7) I no longer know where I am, what is this country? 8) had I fallen from the skies, I could not be more giddy 9) a mixture of pleasure and confu?sion, that is my state 10) where am I, and when will this end? 11) what shall I do? I do not know where I am
there is no game for that particular player white and violet over hedge and ditch clutching airbrush still single but wearing a ring the dry a better "feel" in use pretended to be doing it quite uncon?sciously fishes hammering long largish legs damp fine water dancer, strains of music, expenses of the flight Swiss emotion transparent thin alkaline and very slippery fluid danger for white rats little coun?try telephone booths brut insults brought by mouth famous incidents
I was a heavy man with the hammer once should there be a spare hammer for spare moments?
confess that for many years I myself took no other measures, followed obediently in the footsteps of my teachers, copied the procedures I observed painted animals, frisky inventions, thwarted pa?trons, most great hospitals and clinics, gray gauzes transparent plastic containers Presidential dining room about 45 cm. coquetry and flirtation knit games beautiful tension beaten metal catch-penny devices impersonal panic Klingers nude in tree tickling nose of bear with long branch or wand unbutton his boots fairly broad duct, highly elastic walls peerless piece "racing" Dr. Haacke has poppy-show pulled me down on the bed and started two ceiling-high trees astonishing and little known remark of Balzacs welter this field of honor financial difficulties what sort of figure did these men cut?
in bed regarding Alices stomach it will be a hand?some one Im sure but will it not also resemble some others?
I want to fornicate with Alice but my wife Regine would be insulted Alices husband Buck would be insulted my child Hans would be insulted my an?swering service would be insulted tingle of insult running through this calm loving healthy produc?tive tightly-knit
chaos is tasty AND USEFUL TOO
Alices husband Buck calls me will I gather with him for a game of golf? I accept but on the shoe shelf I cannot find the correct shoes distractedness stupidity weak memory! I am boring myself what should be the punishment I am forbidden to pick my nose forevermore
a few crones are standing about next to them are some louts the crones and louts are talking about the movement of Alices zipper
and what of the boil on my ass the right buttock can I lounge in the bed in the rented house in such a way that Alice will not see will not start away from in fear terror revulsion
I am whispering to my child Hans my child Hans is whispering to me Hans whispers that I am faced with a problem in ethics the systems of the axiologicalists he whispers the systems of the deontologicalists but I am not privy to these systems I whisper try the New School he whispers the small device in my coat pocket goes bleep!
can Buck the honest architect with his acres of projects his mobs of draughtsmen the alarm bell which goes off in his office whenever the govern?ment decides to renovate a few blocks of blight can Buck object if I decide to renovate Alice?
the hinder portion scalding-house good eating Curve B in addition to the usual baths and ablutions mili?tary police sumptuousness of the washhouse risking misstatements kept distances iris to iris queen of holes damp, hairy legs note of anger chanting and shouting konk sense of "mold" on the "muff" sense of "talk" on the "surface" konk2 all sorts of chemical girl who delivered the letter give it a bone plummy bare legs saturated in every belief and ignorance rational living private client bad bosom uncertain workmen mutton-tugger obedience to the rules of the logical system Lord Muck hot tears harmonica rascal
I want to fornicate with Alice but it is a doomed project fornicating with Alice there are obstacles impediments preclusions estoppels I will exhaust them for you what a gas see cruel deprivements SECTION SEVEN moral ambiguities SECTION NINETEEN Alices thighs are like SECTION TWENTY-ONE
colored clothes paper handkerchiefs super cartoons bit of fresh the Popes mule inmission do such poor work together in various Poujadist manifestations deep-toned blacks waivers play to the gas Zentral-bibliothek Zurich her bare ass with a Teddy bear blatty string kept in a state of suspended tension by a weight cut from the backs of alligators
shit
nights of ethics at the New School
or would it be possible to use other peoples houses at hours when these houses were empty would that be erotic? could love be made in doorways under hedges under the sprinting chestnut tree? can Alice forego her Malachi record so that Buck kneeling before the rows of records in his empty deserted abandoned and pace-setting house fingering the galore of spines there would find the Malachi rec?ord with little peeps of gree peeps of gree good for Buck!
thats chaos can you produce chaos? Alice asked certainly I can produce chaos I said I produced chaos she regarded the chaos chaos is handsome and attractive she said and more durable than re?gret I said and more nourishing than regret she said
you can do it too its as easy as it looks
Twirling around on my piano stool my head begins to swim my head begins to swim twirling around on my piano stool twirling around on my piano stool a dizzy spell eventuates twirling around on my piano stool I begin to feel dizzy twirling around on my piano stool
Alices thighs are like great golden varnished wooden oars I assume I havent seen them
I see Alice walking away from me carrying a Pri?mary Structure
can Alice fornicate without her Malachi record playing? will Buck miss the Malachi record which Alice will have taken to the rented house? will Buck kneel before the rows and rows of records in his own house running a finger along the spines looking for the Malachi record? poignant poignant
I am an OB I obstetricate ladies from predicaments holding the bucket I carry a device connected by radio to my answering service bleeps when I am wanted cant even go to the films now for fear of bleeping during filmic highpoints can I in con?science turn off while fornicating with Alice?
insurance?
wise Alice tells you things you hadnt heard before in the world in Paris she recognizes the Ritz from the Babar books oh yes thats where the elephants stay
what is good about Alice is first she likes chaos what is good about Alice is second she is a friend of Tom
I maintain an air of serenity which is spurious I manage this by limping my limp artful creation not an abject limp (Quasimodo) but a proud limp (Byron) I move slowly solemnly through the world miming a stiff leg this enables me to endure the gaze of strangers the hatred of pediatricians
Alice is married to Buck I am married to Regine Buck is my friend Regine is my wife regret is battol?ogized in SECTIONS SIX THROUGH TWELVE and the actual intercourse intrudes somewhere in SECTION FORTY-THREE
nights of ethics at the New School "good" and "bad" as terms with only an emotive meaning I like the Walrus best Alice whispered he ate more than the Carpenter though the instructor whispered then I like the Carpenter best Alice whispered but he ate as many as he could get the instructor whis?pered
we discuss discuss and discuss important consider?ations swarm and dither
SECTION NINETEEN TOM plaster thrashing gumbo of explanations grease on the Tinguely new plays sentimental songs sudden torrential rains car?bon projects evidence of eroticism conflict between zones skin, ambiguous movements baked on the blue table 3 mm. a stone had broken my windshield hurricane damage impulsive behavior knees folded back lines on his tongue with a Magic Marker gape orange tips ligamenta lata old men buried upright delights of everyones life uninteresting variations pygmy owl assumes the quadrupedal position in which the intestines sink forward measurement of kegs other sciences megapod nursemaid said very studied, hostile things she had long been saving up breakfast dream wonderful loftiness trank red clover uterine spasms guided by reason black en?velopes highly esteemed archers wet leg critical menials making gestures chocolate ice pink and green marble weight of the shoes I was howling in the kitchen Tom was howling in the hall white and violet over hedge and ditch clutching oolfoo quiet street suburban in flavor quiet crowd only slightly restive as reports of the letters from Japan circulate
MOVEMENT OF ALICES ZIPPER located at the rear of Alices dress running from the neckhole to the bumhole yes I know the first is an attribute of the dress the second an attribute of the girl but I have located it for you in some rough way the zipper you could find it in the dark
Buck is rushing toward me carrying pieces of car?bon paper big as bedsheets what is he hinting at? duplicity
Magritte
is this "middle life"? can I hurry on to "old age"? I see Alice walking away from me carrying an A & P shopping bag the shopping bag is full of haunting melodies grid coordinates great expecta?tions French ticklers magic marks
for example in what house can I fornicate with Alice? in my house with Hans pounding on the bedroom door in her house with Buck shedding his sheepskin coat in the kitchen in some temporary rented house what joy
yellow brick wall visible from rear bedroom win?dow of the rented house
or would it be possible in the rented house to dis?pense with a bed to have only a mattress on the floor with all the values that attach to that or per?haps only a pair of blankets or perhaps only the skin of some slow-moving animal such as the slug the armadillo or perhaps only a pile of read news?papers
and what of rugs should I rug the rented house and what of cups what of leaning on an elbow in the Hertz Rent-All bed having fornicated with Alice and desiring a cup of black and what of the soap powder dish towels such a cup implies and what of a decent respect for the opinions of mankind and what of the hammer throw
bleep! it is the tipped uterus from Carson City calling